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Well, I did it. I called EX.

It was not a pleasant conversation.

There were a lot, a lot of attempts at getting me to say there was a chance to stay friends. Begged. He really wound up forcing me to say outright that he's insane, he hurt me terribly and that I don't ever want to see him again. Oh yeah, and I got to tell him that Boo Boo had died. That was fun. Not to mention telling him I didn't believe in his fantasy world. Yeah, that was fun--but at least I didn't have to contend with a steady stream of "other people" wanting to say goodbye. Christ.

But I was honorable and as gentle as I could be, and Chip said I was way nicer than EX deserved. Of course his opinion was to tell him "Fuck you, it's over." Which is exactly what I did--in a polite, gentle, using-lots-of-therapy-based-words-like-victimization.

And I've decided not to write the book--not for him, mind, but for me. I don't need to be another Jeanine.

Anyway. So, yeah. I did it. Second-scariest-thing I've ever done. The scariest, of course, was leaving EX screaming on his parents' front porch. Oh yeah, and I called his mother and put her on suicide watch. So if EX does anything stupid, it isn't my fault.

Right?

Comments

( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
rakshi
Feb. 26th, 2008 07:30 pm (UTC)
Of COURSE it won't be your fault!! If you could MAKE anyone do anything... you would have made IT behave in a sane, loving way. She will do as she sees fit... and you have NO power to change or alter her path.

You never have had.

Congratulations for the courage you showed. Now... it's over. Let it go and move on.

Love...


Edited at 2008-02-26 07:31 pm (UTC)
kumquatwriter
Feb. 26th, 2008 09:22 pm (UTC)
Thank you, dearest. As always, you play the sage that soothes my soul.

It's good to have it over. And I know when the lingering pain ends, I'll feel very good about it indeed.
van
Feb. 26th, 2008 09:30 pm (UTC)
Wow. I'm so proud of you, and a bit in awe. It is SO not your fault if anything anything happens. I'm so glad you did it though, and now you can be really free.

I know we haven't spoken much lately, but I support you all the way. <3
kumquatwriter
Feb. 26th, 2008 09:36 pm (UTC)
I know, and I miss you <3 <3 But I've seen you're having a lot of fandomfun, so I shan't regret not being in touch much. Driving down to LA sometime this summer though (with my new man, FYI), so maybe THIS year we can finally meet up, hmm? Loves to you and thanks :)
van
Feb. 26th, 2008 09:53 pm (UTC)
Hahaha, yes. Hopefully I won't have been just back from England this time. :)
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )

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